What a book nook took

A book will help.
It usually does. I don't even need to read it.
Just buying some will help. It's not just about the smell. If inhalants smelled like books,
I could understand the addiction.
I'm not talking about shopping therapy, too many Americans have tried that DIY.
I have a public secret spot, really, at the local library.
These are lonely books. Some are from dead people,
I know.
I can't smell it, but I can read between the lines. It is rather poetic actually, some great writers jammed next to local authors that slide in their own books. Some of those books suck. Some lie-there. And will.
But I have found diamonds-no, I don't like diamonds-I have found flowing streams of crystal consciousness, that can be icy, crisp, like pins and needles-stimulating,
invigorating. I have read classics like stepping into
a working time capsule, tactile, mouthwatering, delectable,
delicious. I can't help that. Saying yum yum about a great book.
Mothers do this to their babies too and it's not meant to be
cannibalistic.
My cat does this to me.

I take what cash I have on me when I go to the secret spot.
People don't carry much cash these days, someone should tell panhandlers this.
Is there a secret union? I don't like conspiracies, they're like cults. There is a secret language for panhandlers, or I mean hobos. Did you know that? It's in symbols to mark things.
Primitive.
Anyway, I usually have less than $5 and maybe some change.
Do you carry pocket change, or is it in the car?
For $3.50 I have come home with a half dozen exotic strangers.
Some are friends of mine already. Some I may be interested in, like a date.
No harm. All goes into the Trust Box. The money, that is.
Payphones are jealous of Trust Boxes.

I've already broken all my rules.
I'm deep in the abyss of my silent treatment.
Sulking, kind of.
Sometimes I annoy the crap out of myself.
This abyss has alternating warm and cold currents,
kind of like that stream of consciousness I am hoping to dive into.
I think you are a book person too.
People write books as a form of therapy.
Re-living the past. Freezing it. Like a deer in headlights.
Do you look at old pictures of yourself? (I've looked like a deer) Are you embarrassed or envious?
I'm the first one.
Public pain=Best seller.
I know some warm flowing blood is in every published book.

Self-help is a relatively new genre, arriving just before Reality TV and just after the music left MTV.
Are they used like recipe books? For foodies of drama.
We are all foodies by necessity, searching for the perfectly ripe fruitful endeavor.
We need nourishment, I need brain nourishment.
No two dishes followed to the exact specifications of a recipe ever turn out the same.
Fast food is not made, it is a mold.
There are books like fast food too.
Romances.
All books are self-help really. It's up to you to help yourself.
Not steal books, but listen, swallow, savour, jump in. Get some old good traditional couch therapy.
And the cat.
But as I check my wallet, I realize I'm broke.
Not even change.
I will need to ask for help.



Image of painting by Louis Comfort Tiffany [Public domain], via Wikimedia Commons.