In case of Murder

I think about what will be under my fingernails when I die, or if I was murdered. I don't mean that in any morbid way, it's more of an underwear thing-wait-didn't your grandmother also tell you to always wear good underwear just in case? Just in case...

I watch Forensic Files when I go to sleep, not because I'm a crime junkie, but because the narrators voice is soothingly dramatic and if there is a guilty pleasure it would be my fascination with human beings unable to control their own Will. Each of the 30 minute segments which run all night have a predictably good ending, just like sit-coms, there is a moral, and 'Justice' is served-usually. Still Justice is tough to chew and doesn't taste very good to anyone I am convinced, but Forensic Files is not on the Food Network-if that were the case it would just be a tragic injustice to culinary criminology-I don't mean that in any morbid way either.

A hearing had been set for a 92 year old woman who raised chinchillas on what she called a "farm". This little old lady decided to brings charges against PETA for defamation of character. Unfortunately, she just passed away. I don't know if it was of natural causes at 92 years young, or if they checked under her fingernails and what they would have found...but they did find a warehouse full of chinchilla pelts. The judge denied a continuance in this case...

We should be more fearful of the darkness lurking inside the mind of a 13-year-old than black-skinned homeless men with empty bellies and pockets.

Last May, on a hot windy Santa Ana day, a 13-year-old girl with a raging fire inside her belly quenched her thirst with a Scripto. It was not the first time she tried to create outside what she felt inside. Fire is a living breathing force that simply needs room to grow, like a 13-year-old, when suffocated or smothered this fire will blind you with smoke in mirrors, but it's still smoldering, needing only a simple accelerant to ignite the inferno anew. Teenagers must deal with accelerants all day long trying not to get burned themselves. With wildfires sparked all around the region that day the conditions were ideal for this young girl; 40 buildings razed and a dozen families entire lives possessions thrown into the bonfire, one family for each of her smoldering years. They said she laughed about it as the bridge to her future collapses into chunks of coal.  She is still smoldering and isolated.

A sad man who felt only comfort in the accepting, always open, heavenly skies faced fear every single day-except one.

We put our lives, as though beating hearts outside of our body, into the palms of strangers for safe keeping-arrive alive, yet we still drink and drive, killing each other with machinations of pleasure-joy rides.

Murder is not up, is not down. Suicide will never be found among the wreckage in the Alps. Nor will justice...

Do you remember the character "Brian" from 'The Breakfast Club', he was the nerdy that was also “every parent's wet dream"? Not many people remember the whole confession scene, Brian's confession was down-played but ironically became more relevant than the others. He confessed that his reason for getting a Saturday school was because he brought a flare gun to school. “By mistake" it went off in his locker. Is the mistake that it went off in his locker or that he meant to bring a real gun? They laughed about it, so did I, so did you probably. Wasn't this an explosive warning? I wonder what he confessed on Sunday, that he was drowning in his parents wet dream?

According to Crime Scene Investigators living with a pet of the mammal variety, can save your life, but if not- their shedding hair can solve your murder, so you may think twice before muttering angry things while running the pet roller over your clothes before leaving the house, you would be tampering with trace evidence directly relating to your identity and interfering with the crime scene.
Pets also make you smile (inside) and never think about their own demise.
I noticed some avocado under my nail from making guacamole which I cannot eat, I wonder if they would know to classify it as a stone fruit? Would they mistake my blood for tomato?

When I was 5 my parents had a difficult time convincing me to stop sucking my thumb and to throw away my blankie-the blankie went first and I sucked away. My step-father decided before I went to sleep one night to put Tobasco sauce on my thumb. His plan backfired in my face when in my sleep I rubbed my eye. I do not eat Tobasco, or use it in guacamole, it makes me cry.

Is there a tab for the most common ingredients found under people's fingernails? Is it wrath red? Sloth blue? Sin is black outside the pale surface layers. Death seeks the immature soul in a deciduous state.

So many people feel alone on this crowded planet, as though their actions have no consequence or that they can just wash their hands of their problems by dying or causing death-but that is impossible, death is not the last word. Trace evidence will always remain part of and on our bodies. My hands get dirty sometimes, in fact I don't think my nails are completely clean as I type this, but at least my underwear is-just in case (except for a likely cat hair-or two).


Image by Albrecht Dürer circa 1508 'Study of an Apostles Hands' (Praying Hands)[Public domain], via Wikimedia Commons.